When I first turned 20, I felt like nothing could change. Still, nothing has changed. The first 20 years of our lives are something different. The vibe is different, the thoughts are different, and most importantly, the responsibilities are different. You need to think about everything and nothing at the same time. I asked a couple of people who are older than me what they would advise to themselves if they were to speak with their 20-year-old-self, and most of them said that they would do the things that they were scared of. Some of them said that they would love and embrace the feeling. A couple of them said that they would work harder but they would worry less, because at the end, everything turns out to be okay. If you were to ask me, a fellow 22-year-old, how am I trying to survive in all this chaos? I would recommend you follow these steps:
Step One: Try Not to Copy Your Parents When They Talk About Their 20s
Do not always copy your parents or do what they say, because they lie a lot. They say that they made no mistakes, and they were just perfect. Fathers, when they were 20, were working, and they were the perfect child of your grandparents. As for moms, they were those calm and steady teen who tried her best to be the nicest and kindest. To all this I say: No hun, you were not.
I am sure that they tried their best, and they tried to figure out how to live and be an adult, but did they do that as perfectly as they say? Of course not! We are humans; we all make mistakes that sometimes cost us something. It is normal to fail, it is normal not be the best version of yourself every time or every day. No one comes up to you and says that you were good or bad. It feels bad to fail or to make mistakes, but it is not the end of the world. Our parents (not all, but most of them) were raised scared of being wrong, and making mistakes was not acceptable. It is not the case for us, though. We have to embrace the fact that doing wrong is normal, and it can be fixed most of the time. Not all the time, though. Always be careful but always bear in your mind that making mistakes or doing wrong is normal and okay.
Step Two: Don’t Cry Over Impossible
Stop crying and start creating opportunities!
Normally people ‘find’ opportunities, but in these circumstances we ‘create’ them. Nobody’s going to give you the life and chances you want. It’s life; wealth and goodness do not come on a silver platter. I know it is hard to even try something in these circumstances, but still, it’s worth a shot. Try new things, be open to anything, and communicate with people. Communication is the key to finding/creating new opportunities.
We are only humans; we do, we fall, and we try again. This is the pattern of survival. Run, hide, capture, and try again. Don’t be afraid of trying. The more you try, the more the life you want will come to you. So, stop crying and wasting your time in your room and start just doing stuff.
Step Three: Stop Worrying So Much!
As our beloved elders usually say “Stop constantly worrying! Just live your life as you wish”. We are constantly overthinking everything. It is not healthy, and the funny thing is that we all know this! Too much thinking wastes our energy and time. We need to figure out a way to stop this because life is too short to constantly think about whether you did good or not.
Worrying always makes us take a step back, but we need to go forward. Just take the forward step that you are scared of! This is how you continue developing your dream life. This is how you live your life without any regrets. It is always better to say “I did” rather than “I wish I had”.
Thinking will only make our lives miserable, and we will be stuck in a paradox. Always remind yourself that you will find a way eventually. Just stop anxiety-pumping and focus on the missing things.
Final Step: Always Remind Yourself That You’re Just a Person
The days, hours, and moments sometimes feel like they don’t pass. We sometimes feel everything so much, so intensely that we feel like we are suffocating. The problem with the new generation in 20s like me, is that we don’t know anything. We don’t know how to live, how to act grown up, how to comment on things, how to address our opinion, how to dress, how to behave, how to be the person that we want to be.
To be fair, I still haven’t figured out all these because I am young, and I just don’t know! However, life finds a way. As BTS said, “Life goes on” and as Chapell Roan said, “Live laugh love? Think about that, how good is that saying? Yes, I want to live laugh and love” So, as these icons say, we just need to let all be and let life find its way because we cannot control everything. Why? Because no one can and no one knows.
I mentioned that we don’t know ‘how to’, but from what I’ve observed, no one else does either. Not my father, not our teachers, not someone’s mom, sister, brother, uncle, or whoever you name! Nobody knows, and we are just trying our best to go on with our lives. The most important thing is to not go too hard on ourselves and we need to constantly remind ourselves that we are only humans, nothing more.
To sum up, if you want to ‘survive’ your 20s in the best way, this is not the right article for you because I don’t know as well. I am only sure that if I keep being myself, find new ways, stop worrying too much, and remind myself that I am only a person, then I will find my way because it’s life. It always has a new way, but never shortcuts. Unless you’re a nepo baby, of course. There is no survival guide for 20s. Honestly, I don’t think there will ever be because it would be filled with lots of measurements and rules. So, we’re just eyeballing as our beloved mothers do when they are cooking.
What do you think on this topic? What are you doing to ‘survive’ your 20s? Share with us!
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