“Can anybody find me somebody to love…”
We all sometimes feel the need for someone’s love, affection, or touch. We eagerly throw ourselves into these desired feelings and finally find ourselves in a complicated relationship with someone who is as confused as we are. Of course, it is not always the same, but for now we’re going to talk about these situations and what we really want.
What do we think of the “healthy relationship” topic? It’s what almost all of us want for our relationship dynamic. But how do we do that? How do we label a relationship as “healthy”? Let’s talk about it!
Step One: Ask yourself: Do you really want a relationship?
This step might be the most important one because nobody wants to be the fool in a story. Firstly, you need to understand your feelings. Do you really want a relationship with someone or do you only want the feelings? It is critical because you have no right to fool someone, and the same goes for them as well. Creating a relationship is something that is more than just the feels if you know what I mean. It’s reality, not fanfiction where you end up in a situationship with Harry Styles! You need to understand your partner, communication is the only way through, and you both need to be realistic. Of course, being realistic does not mean marriage all the time. If you are certain that your partner does not want a long-term something then go ahead and fool around. It is okay too, but we are not talking about it for this issue.
If you don’t understand your own self then how do you expect otherwise? How could you assume that someone else would understand you and your feelings when you do not know that as well? Think that through and decide, then you can take the second step.
Step Two: Meet & Greet, Not the 5SOS kind though.
Find yourself someone who really wants to get to know you! You need someone who is excited to meet you, not someone who has the ‘casual’ attitude and the ‘I just came by’ dialogues. This is frustrating to talk about, I know because most of the society is like that second example for some reason!
Isn’t it fun to meet with people and engage in some conversation or even activities like walking, watching a movie, or just eating something? It is all ‘casual’ but not in the disturbing ‘casualty’, if you know what I mean. For a healthy relationship, you need to be able to have fun with each other. You need to be able to ‘get’ each other, and its only way is to spend time together. Do not stop the interaction right away (unless you see something awkward going on, of course), and go on a couple of dates! Go and get to know each other! Even if you do not end up in a relationship, you will create (hopefully) a healthy friendship!
Step Three: Be open, but don’t let them cross the line.
Listen, I am not an expert, but I know my limits and what to do or what to say, okay?
To secure a healthy relationship IN ANY WAY you need to let them know your limits, your lines, borders, whatever you call them! You need someone respectful. If that person does not respect you in any way possible, even the slightest way, let them go. You don’t need someone who is disrespectful and does not know when to stop. And you need to be likewise! If you want respect, you show respect.
A good, steady, and healthy relationship goes both ways. Everything should be the same for both of you with your own little twists and turns etc. You need to make the situations suit you both.
Final Step: Just go for it!
You cannot live your life under the shadow of horror. If someone doesn’t listen, let them go. If they don’t respect you, let them go. If they are not excited about the things, let them go. It is the same for all the scenarios. However, don’t let these situations take the joy out of meeting and learning things about people. The more you interact the more you learn, and believe me, learning is freaking cool.
I am not telling you to be a stalker! Please DO NOT BE A STALKER! Just go for it and have fun. You may not get involved in a romantic and healthy relationship but that is not the end. No one can be sure about anything, even married people can not know what the future will bring! Just go for it and know what you want, that’s all. Even if you don’t know what you want, that’s totally alright too, because life doesn’t end when a relationship fails. Just learn your lessons and carry on. You’ll figure it out while living your life. Don’t be scared of getting your feelings hurt! You cannot learn or grow without experience, and all these are just experiences!
Love, my friends, is so damn cool and beautiful. Just live it, and be careful in case something literally serious happens. Otherwise, just try it out. Everything will turn out to be okay. If you don’t like it, you can always change it. You’re 20-something, or 30-something or more! It’s life! Keep on living it!
